Feb 262010

…It’s been a while. Where should we begin?

Ok, I own up to it. I’ve utterly and completely neglected my personal blog because I’m all over social networking and any time I feel like expressing my thoughts, feelings, or what is going on in my life I do so using 140 characters or less.

Wheew. There, I said it. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery, is it not?

Although I’m not entirely certain I really WANT to recover.

Continue reading »

May 032009

Thumbs UpThat’s a lie.  I do, actually.

Earlier today I was thinking about how busy I’ve been recently, and it occured to me that I’ve done a lot so far this year.

  • I was in a record breaking production of Picasso at the Lapin Agile with the folks at the Jobsite Theater
  • I took on a huge amount of new responsibilities at work
  • I’ve lost 14 pounds and gotten back into the habit of exercising at least five days a week
  • I quit smoking
  • I took three classes towards my B.S. in Technology Management and I believe I have A’s in all three of them
  • I started a business with six of my friends and can officially add Chief Executive Officer to my list of titles
  • I took a major step towards getting my finances back under control by consolidating several of my higher interest credit cards into a loan from my employers
  • I managed to score 38 Studios and Cartoon Network as guests for this years Dragon*Con MMORPG track.

That’s all I can think of at the moment, but…wow!  I’m pretty impressed with my list of accomplishments so far this year, and it’s only May!

Oh, and for the record….I do like toast.

Jul 132006

Your current weight | 275.6 lbs
Weight change since your last recorded weight | -2.6 lbs
Total weight change to date | -143.6 lbs

Huzzah. Three consecutive weeks in a row of weight loss now, and once again back under my pre-GothCruise weight. Still following the experimental program that we were following as a test market, as I’ve found that it works much better for me.

Pictures to follow if you’re on the filter.

419.2 / 275.6 / 225

I AM doing this.

Nov 202001

So very much to write about. I almost don’t know where to start. This one is going to be a completely personal, update sort of entry. So for those of you who are looking for some of my more deep and philosophical stuff, I suggest you try back later or check out some of the links below.

I guess what’s on my mind the most right now is the fact that I’m getting involved in the theater again. That’s right, kids. After a self-imposed hiatus of over five years I’m going to be back on the stage with the Jobsite Theater in Tampa. I’m playing the role of Gerhardt in a new Joe Popp musical called Maxwell. The show will run from January 4th to the 20th in Tampa, and then we will have three performances in New York. Who would have thought that I’d actually make it on the stage in New York? Sure, it’s not Broadway. I’m coming back home to Tampa after wards. But damn it, I’m going to be performing in New York. It’s almost unbelievable, but it’s happening. Rehearsals begin on Monday, and I’m more excited than I’ve been in a long time.

My birthday has come and gone, and while I’m a little older now I can’t say I feel any wiser. I did, however, have one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a long time. I threw myself a big party, and many friends came over to watch me get VERY drunk and make a general ass of myself. That’s what friends are for, man. I got some great presents, too. All in all, it was a smashing success.

The weight loss continues, and I’ve now lost 130 pounds. I’m a little nervous about going into the holidays, but I’m taking some definite steps to prevent major back pedaling during the next two months of continual feasting. I think I’ll do fine. I’m even predicting another 10 pound loss by the end of the year. I’m confident I can do it.

The semester is almost over, and as of this point I’m still carrying A’s in all of my classes. Not a small feat in one of them. Philosophy is a real pain in the ass, let me tell you. I love the class, but it’s very hard and our grades are solely based on test scores. I’ve gotten A’s on all the tests, so it’s all good. I have a paper to write by next Wednesday, but I’ve got a pretty firm grasp on what I’m going to include in that. No worries there. In general, the whole school thing is going along quite swimmingly, I must say.

Still nothing new on the job front, but I’ve got a recruiter that is working very hard for me from Kforce. Hopefully she’ll turn up something soon, because the coffers are getting quite thin.

Well, that’s all the updating I’m going to do at the moment. I could write more but I’m tired and it’s late. I’ll try and update more regularly for those of you who have been pestering me to do so.

Aug 032001

Last night at Weight Watchers I got on the scale and was told that I lost 3.2 pounds last week. This makes my grand total, since January 12th of this year, 101.4.

One hundred and one point four pounds. I think I like spelling it out better than just typing the numbers. It looks more impressive that way. One hundred and one point four pounds.

I have lost more weight than some people can lift. I have lost the entire body mass of a small child. I have dropped at least 5 sizes in my pants (10 inches in the waist). It’s no small feat, and I feel VERY justified in taking a moment to brag about it.

Every four weeks I take my measurements and go through my closet to see what does and doesn’t fit anymore. Coincidentally last night was also one of those four week marks. So I tried on the XL Jello Biafra shirt that I have hanging up on my wall. I’m not quite there yet. I can wear it. No doubt about it. It’s still a little tight, though. It still hugs the belly a bit much. So it goes back on the hanger for another four weeks. I tried on a jacket that I used to wear in high school. It fit. A little snugly, but it fit. Last night, I finally got rid of all my 4x shirts. I can’t wear them anymore! They have gotten to the point where they look silly on me. My closet is a little more barren now, but that is perfectly ok with me.

I still have a long way to go, but it suddenly seems a lot closer than it did just a week ago. I’m over half way there. In fact, when I tell people how much more I want to lose I keep getting shocked responses. I find it flattering that people can’t believe I still consider myself 92.8 pounds overweight. Who knows? Maybe they are right. Maybe I’ll get down around the 250 mark and decide that’s where I need to be. I’m a big man. That might be an ideal weight for me. For now, though, I’m sticking to the 225 mark. I think it’s a good goal.

In other news…I was glancing over at Web Pages That Suck the other day, and I stumbled across a rather disturbing thing. Apparently, the flaming logo and background that I have on this page is something seen quite frequently across the web, and it is considered a “sucky” web design. So I’m going back to the old drawing board on this page, and I should be rolling something new out soon. I think I’m going to re-engineer my whole site, actually. Keep the home page the same (maybe update the graphics with some mouse overs or something), but make the look and feel of the rest of the site more consistent. So expect some changes in the direction soon.

I noticed something else recently, too. My site is actually getting some consistent traffic. It’s not a lot, but I’m getting about somewhere between 5 and 10 hits per day on average. I’m starting to think about promoting the forums again. We’ll see.

Well kids, that’s about it for now. Thanks for all the continued support on the weight loss battle. I’ll keep you posted!

Jan 212001

Well gang, I’m pretty sure my days as a Net-J are over. It was nice while it lasted, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to keep producing the show. I am pretty stretched for time as it is, and it takes a bit of work for me to get one of the shows together. Top that with the fact that I have no guarantee that my show will go up on time or at all, and you’ll see why I came to my conclusion. I can’t say for sure yet. I need to talk to the woman who convinced me to start the show in the first place and give her a chance to change my mind if she wants, but it looks like Uncle Critus’ Farm is going to be foreclosed on by the gub-mint.

Hey, it was fun while it lasted. Of course, you might now that if you actually LISTENED to it (you know who you are).

In other news, I have decided to archive my older rants onto a separate page and order them chronologically. You’ll find a list below of all the archived articles with hyperlinks to them.

For those of you interested in my health, I started Weight Watchers two days ago. Yay for me! I figured it was high time I went and did something about all the excess Critus that is floating around, and Weight Watchers seemed like the logical way to go. I’ve lost weight before, hell I’ve lost a LOT of weight before, but I did it with fad diets that made me gain it all back as soon as I stopped following them. Not good. I need to lose it for real this time, and I think I’m going to do it. Besides, following my pattern of healthy behavior it’s time I think. Last time I lost weight, I quit smoking first (done), then I got caught up with my dentist (also done), and I was single (unfortunately, that’s the case too). So following that pattern, the next logical step is weight loss. Simple, isn’t it?

I’ve got some other good news pending, but as of this point I’m holding off on announcing it. Don’t want to jinx anything.

Oh, and for those of you who were asking about the “big thing” in my January 11th rant. First of all, it wasn’t anything bad or another major illness or anything, contrary to what some of you thought. I simply thought perhaps something might come about that might turn out to be very cool. It didn’t, and I’m pretty sure at this point it won’t, but it’s all good.

Well anyway, time for me to mosey on buckaroos. Thanks, as always, for tuning in. One final thing, though. If you haven’t yet, take a moment to go to my Delphi forum and post some comments there. It’s been dead for months, and that’s partly my fault, but there really aren’t a lot of people going there to check it out. So log on over and write some of your own profoundness, ok???

May 312000

It’s the day after Memorial Day. Two days after we were supposed to celebrate it, but a day after technically. The day after we are supposed to reflect on our Veterans, both living and dead, and consider the sacrifices that they made for our country. A sad time, really. A time to dwell on death and loss and sacrifice. A time to honor those who did what many of us today either could not, or would not, do.

That’s not what is on my mind today, though.

What’s on my mind is the fact that, in less than two weeks, I will be attending my ten year High School Reunion.

Ok, ok! So I’m shallow and self-centered, but it’s true. If I REALLY think about it, I can find the ability to honor and remember our vets. Hell, my Father served two tours in vietnam! I just can’t stop thinking about this damn reunion, though.

So, for all of you vets, I’m sorry. The rest of this essay has nothing to do with you.

I wonder if all my Gibbs High School class of 1990 class mates are feeling the same way that I am right now. This whole reunion thing, it almost feels like I’m going to be a member of a beauty pageant. Like I’m going to be rated on how successful I am, or how good I look, or if I achieved all of my “dreams” from High School. Well, I can tell you one thing, if that’s the case, the judges will conclude that :

  • I am marginally successful, after a long time of not being so.
  • I look like hell.
  • Most of my dreams flew the coop faster then you can say “What do you mean it broke???”

But I know how to make a bulleted list…that’s one thing, I guess.

Just for the record, I have no bitterness whatsoever for my current status in life. My son means everything to me, and I would not trade him for the world. He has, at times, been the only thing that keeps me going, and as far as I’m concerned he is all the “success” I need in life.

I guess where all of this really comes from is that I’m starting to feel OLD. I realize that 27 going on 28 is not ancient by any means, but I’ve got a big factor counting against me that the normal 27 year old doesn’t have. I’m raising a 17 year old (No, I am not that much of a stud. She is my sister). It’s not that I don’t like her music (our tastes are pretty much the same in many ways), or her clothes (she dresses quite “normal”). It’s more my amazement at the lack of weight on her shoulders. We lost our Father last year. She also lost not one, but TWO friends soon afterwards. Three deaths, and it hasn’t even been a year yet since our Dad died. All of that, and she is still a generally happy kid. She still gets all stupid over her boyfriend and likes to hang out at the mall and “forget” to do her chores unless I remind her every weekend. Man, I envy that. I wish I could just accept life so readily. Just shrug it off and say “oh well, at least there is a new Jim Carrey movie coming out.” THAT’S what I see as being young, and let me tell ya, I certainly don’t feel young anymore.

So, the reunion. I’m going to see some people I haven’t seen in a LONG time. Some people I haven’t thought about in a long time. I’ve already seen a few names that brought back memories. Bill Stanley. Christime Lavendar. Dan Bruen. People I literally never saw again once the commencement ceremonies were over, but who were a part of my daily life for four years. Isn’t that amazing? God, I GREW UP with Bill Stanley. All the way from elementary school until graduation. I haven’t said the first word to him since we graduated, though, and to be honest I don’t know HOW I’m supposed to feel about that. Should I bemoaning my “lost youth” and making some sort of effort to reconnect with my past, or is it “just life” and something I should accept?

Ah well. It’s early yet, and I haven’t had my coffee. I AM looking forward to the reunion, and I hope that I get to see people like Bill Stanley. I hope he’s doing well, and even if he’s not I would never boast about my life or try to compare it to his. That’s not what I’m about, and I hope that’s not what the reunion is about. It’s about seeing some people who you miss, and maybe having an evening where you don’t have quite so much weight on your shoulders.

As long as everyone accepts that my kid is cooler than theirs, that is.