This I Believe

BillyJoel_AnInnocentMan

I wrote the following as one of my assignments in my Orientation to Graduate Studies class at the University of Maryland University College. The goal was to write an article in the style of the “This I Believe” series by Edward R. Murrow. Unfortunately after I finished my essay and turned it in I realized that the assignment had been to write something about our professional beliefs and not a personal one, so I had to scrap the assignment and write another one in about 10 minutes (which, for the record, I got a 98% on). I really liked what I wrote in my original essay, though, and I wanted to share it here.

Fair warning – It’s mushy.

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Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life

So.

This is my first official day as a manager here at work (yesterday was a holiday).

Mind you, my boss is out and I have nobody to manage yet. So I’m just kind of sitting here going “now what?”

At this point not much has changed other than my pay grade, which was a pretty nice increase. I realized this morning that in the last three years my income has jumped right around 25%. That’s not too shabby, my friends. My plan, as it currently stands, is to try living as if I did not get the increase at all. I want to use that extra money to pay off the credit cards. I don’t know how successful I’ll be in that, but I’m going to try. I want to at least make a dent in them.

Did my taxes yesterday, and that turned out pretty well. I’ve got enough coming back to pay off my back taxes from last year and get my property taxes paid as well. That only leaves the balance of the homeowner’s insurance left to pay, but I think I can handle that. I’m also half way done towards paying off the saint who helped out with getting the insurance policy going in the first place. Once I get all THAT straightened out I can start getting some money to my Mother to pay off the car she gave me.

Whee. Money is fun!

Unfortunately it’s looking more and more likely that Dragon*Con isn’t going to happen this year. etcet has been informed that Labor Day weekend is most likely to require him to work, and while the current plan in our department is to be done well before that you never know for sure. aishlynn is also doubtful about her ability to get that weekend off, and it was having the two of them along that made it a worthwhile trip for netgoth.

And while I could go without three of my favorite people, it just wouldn’t be as fun. Especially if Brooks doesn’t go again this year.

So I dunno.

Had a big heart to heart with K. last night. Didn’t start out in such a pleasant manner, but in the end I think it was good. We’ve been distant recently, and from what came out last night it’s pretty clear it wasn’t something that was intentional from either direction. I think we’ve both just been dealing with so much outside of our relationship we haven’t taken the time that is needed to focus on each other every once in a while. It makes me sad that we let things get to that point, but I’m glad it’s out there now and we can deal with it. These kind of issues are the type where if they are left to fester they just get worse and eventually cross a point of no return. Fortunately, we didn’t get there.

Very lucky indeed.

Maybe I don’t say it enough, but I’ll never forget how fortunate I am to have K. in my life. I can’t. I remember it every morning. Every time I wake up and feel her next to me I am just overwhelmed by gratitude and comfort. I know what it’s like to wake up and wonder why you’re in the bed with the person next to you. That never happens with her. If everything else in my life is going spectacularly to shit, I still have that moment every morning when, very briefly, all is right in the world – and it’s her presence that does it for me. She’s been behind me as I’ve dealt with a three year plateau in my weight loss, and her continued support has kept me from throwing in the towel on more than one occasion. She can make me feel good about myself when I’m feeling ugly, and she never, ever takes the things I do for her for granted. I don’t think there’s a meal I’ve cooked for her that she hasn’t sincerely thanked me for. She shares my love for gaming and theater, and has introduced me to a ton of music that I now listen to on a regular basis.

And, of course, there’s those…private…things she does for me that I won’t gush about here.

I don’t say it often enough, love…but thank you. For being in my life. For loving me. For being you.

And if you’re still reading after all that gush, faithful reader, I salute you.

Edit You know, this WYSIWYG editor that LJ has is nifty and all, but you’d think they would have written it so that it didn’t convert your LJ cut tags into escaped code and would ignore ascii spaces in the spell check.

Sheesh.

Today…

Honestly, would have been much better if it had started and ended before I left my bedroom this morning. I woke up to cuddles and sweet words from netgoth, which is really the best way to wake up. Once I got out of bed, though, it was all down hill from there. Cleaning up puke first thing in the morning (that had been sitting on the ground for 4 hours) is not the best way to start the day. Frustration after frustration beyond that has made me a right surly bastard.

But…

The other day, I was thinking about my relationship with netgoth (especially since we celebrated Valentine’s over two days this weekend), and one song…oddly enough…kept going through my head…and now that she’s not able to peek over my shoulder to read as I’m writing it, I’m gonna post ’em.

And here are the lyrics