Aug 272014

I’d love to say I have some kind of well thought out, eloquent post in me. I do not. My sad, neglected blog is likely to remain just that for the foreseeable future, and this post won’t break that trend. This is just a thought dump. A “what’s going on with me” that most of you will likely gloss over if you even bother to read it in the first place.

Man, that sure sounded emo.

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Dec 312011

2011 is a few hours away from ending, and like twenty bazillion other people in the world I’m reflecting back on the previous year. For some reason I’ve decided that you, my faithful readers, may be interested in this.

I don’t know why.

Probably because I’m an egomaniac.

Yeah, that’s it.

So anyway…

Went back to school this year. That was pretty damn cool, even if I did have to go to an out of state school because the University of South Florida is run by a bunch of chode monkeys who wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I tried to appeal the fact that they rejected my application. Funny, that. One of the things they tell you when you go to a two-year college here in Florida is that if you graduate with your Associates degree you are guaranteed admission into any of the public four-year universities in the state. Turns out that simply isn’t true. Like, at all. In any case, I’ve been attending the University of Maryland University College and I’m doing quite well there. My grade point average is 3.65 and I’m on track to graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Science in the Summer of 2014.

Work is…work? My company spent a lot of money installing SharePoint 2010 and I spent much of my time this year learning new skills to help me program in and administer that software. Part of my training involved a two week trip that included New York and Las Vegas. It was pretty cool, but shockingly enough after two weeks of intense training even “exotic” locations like Las Vegas get old and you start to yearn for home. Not to mention the amount of weight I put on while I was out there.

Oh, yeah. Health wise? This year sucked donkey balls. I managed to stay off the cigarettes (it’s been about 13 months now), but beyond that it’s been almost nothing but disappointment and setbacks. I was diagnosed with gout and as a result I gave up eating meat back in May. You’d think that being a vegetarian would be good for the waist line, but I’ve struggled mightily ever since. I think part of it has to do with the sheer amount of carbohydrates that go into your body when you aren’t eating animal flesh. Who knows? What I DO know is that I am, yet again, back up over 280 pounds. I haven’t weighed this much since we got back from the Goth Cruise, and I’m up 40 pounds from where I was just a few years ago. The gout episode completely derailed my running routine, and I’m still not fully back into it yet. Most of my clothes aren’t fitting properly, I have low energy, and my self-respect is pretty much in the shitter as a result. The last few weeks have been a bit better in that regard, but I’ve still got a long way to go before I start to feel comfortable in my skin again.

Krystalle and I celebrated our 8th anniversary back in July. Jareth turned 21. Alex turned 16. Kimmy split from her husband. My kids are getting older and I have my best friend at my side. That’s pretty awesome.

Theatrically? Did two shows. Should have done four but two of them were canceled (three, technically, but the second wouldn’t have gone up until January). I had my first ever theatrical role, and I had the privilege of, yet again, being the first actor to play a role in an original production. That would have happened twice this year, as I was supposed to be in a musical where the part I was playing was written specifically for me, but that fell through.

Celebrated my 10th season with Jobsite…but ironically haven’t been cast in anything yet for said season. Still one show up in the air, though.

Managed to whip the finances into pretty decent shape for a while there but the last few months have reversed a bit of that. I pulled a major remodeling surprise on Alex while he was out of town for Thanksgiving, and as glad as I am that I did the work the investment was considerable. It seriously needed to be done, though. That room was a health hazard, and that wasn’t ENTIRELY his fault.

All in all it was a good year. It wasn’t a great year, but it wasn’t a bad year. It was very busy. At times it was hard, and on many occasions the one thing I wanted more than anything else was sleep.

That’s still the case, really.

Happy New Year, my friends.


May 192011

Earlier this year I made the decision to get back into running. I had never officially gotten out of it, to be honest, but my routine had seriously fallen by the wayside. I made the commitment to re-start the Couch to 5k program from, and with the exception of one run managed to do so. While I never got really good at it as far as speed or distance were concerned, I love running and it made me very happy to think that I would be back to doing so again several times a week.

Right around the time I finished the program, though, I noticed that my left foot had some weird swelling issues going on. The longer I wore shoes the more swollen my foot got. It wasn’t ever horribly painful, but it was very annoying and uncomfortable. I backed off the running for a bit to see if that helped the situation, but there wasn’t any significant improvement. I went to an urgent care clinic to have it checked out and they gave me some anti-inflammatory pills but the situation did not improve. I eventually went to see a foot specialist who took an MRI of my left foot and pointed out that I had inflamed tendons. He made me wear a god-awful brace for two weeks and had me get some blood work drawn. When I went back a few weeks later the swelling was still there, although it had gone down a bit. The blood work was back, though, and the initial results seemed to indicate that I had gout.

I just had my follow up appointment. After a month of being on daily medication to treat gout and a week of giving up alcohol and animal proteins (I spent two weeks in NYC and Vegas right after my initial diagnosis…not the best way to start healthy living), my uric acid levels have barely moved. There is no question. I have gout. I am in the middle of a flare-up right now on my right foot. During my visit today the doctor says that the gout has resulted in a level of arthritis in both of my feet, and that it has also done permanent damage to the joints on both of my big toes (the right being the worst one…my range of motion is minimal on that toe). I have had my medication dosage doubled, and I’ve ordered a $300 orthotic shoe insert to help alleviate the pain and any future damage that this condition may do to my joints.

To say that I am feeling frustrated, angry, and depressed over this situation would be a huge understatement. I have done my best to lead a healthy life for over 10 years now. I exercise on a regular basis, I don’t drink often, I eat my fruits and vegetables…hell, I even quit smoking back in November. Still, my body continues to betray me with conditions that are incurable. First Roseacea, now Gout. Not fatal conditions, but not shit I can fix either. Both of them conditions commonly associated with alcoholics as well, and while I enjoy a good drink as much as the next person my family will attest that I am FAR from an alcoholic.

I’m not gonna lie…There’ sa part of me that just wants to say “fuck it” and give up this whole healthy living thing. If I’m going to be in pain and miserable I may as well be enjoying myself, right?

I don’t mean that…but it’s how I feel. I’ll get over it soon enough, but right now I’m kinda having a first world pity party.

Sep 212009

There are four of us on my insurance policy.  It’s a good insurance policy, by all accounts.  It’s certainly much better than not having insurance.  Most of the time, anyway.

This whole H1N1 scare, though?  If you’re following all of the CDC best practice guidelines if you think you’re exposed you should go immediately to a clinic and be tested and start on Tamiflu.

The Urgent Care clinic co-pay on our plan is $50.

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Jul 222009

I started writing this post a few days ago.  I figure I’ll just go ahead and append on the end of it with the understanding that, perhaps, my head space is a bit different than it was when I first began this ramble.

Not only do I feel the need to break up the utter and complete monotony of posting nothing but my workouts here, I also have a compulsion to simply talk about a few things.  Get some stuff out of my head and out there in the ether as it were.  As a result this may end up being an incoherent post at times, so I apologize in advance.

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Jun 302009

35 Minutes Elliptical Machine

4×5 Assisted Pull Ups – 180 pounds (down 10 pounds)

1×3 Assisted Pull Ups – 180 pounds (down 10 pounds)

1×2 Assisted Pull Ups – 190 pounds

4×5 Pulldown – 100 pounds (up 10 pounds)

1×5 Pulldown – 90 pounds

5×5 Dumbbell Row – 40 pounds (up 5 pounds)

3×5 Bicep Curls – 25 pounds

2×4 Bicep Curls – 25 pounds

35 Minutes Treadmill

No freakin’ idea what’s going on with the bicep curls in those last two sets but not only was I not able to go up at all I couldn’t complete a set I’ve done several times already.  Maybe I stressed my muscles out too much increasing on the other machines.  I think I’m finding the weights I need to work with for a few constant workouts.  Overall, though, I’m kinda dissappointed with this one.

Jun 162009

60 Minutes on the treadmill at 4 MPH

10 Minutes on the treadmill at 3.2 MPH

5 sets of 5 Assisted Pull-Ups with 200 pounds counterweight

5 sets of 5 Pulldowns – 80 pounds

5 sets of 5 Dumbell Rows – 25 pounds

5 sets of 5 Bicep Curls – 25 pounds

100 Pushup Challenge – Exhaustion Test (13)

200 Situp Challenge – Week Six, Column Three, Set Three (39-39-50-50-39-39-33-33-218)

18 Minutes EA SPORTS Active

Jan 012007

billified was intubated this morning around 4 AM. Despite the fact that he was wearing an breathing mask and his oxygen levels were returning to normal, he was still struggling to breathe – and apparently becoming quite irritated with everyone and everything as a result (not that I can blame him….being stuck full of tubes and having a hard time breathing would make anyone cranky). They sedated him and inserted the breathing tube, and he’s been unconscious ever since. While they haven’t said he’s completely in the clear yet, they have stopped saying he was still at risk of dying. So things are looking up.

Thanks for all the good thoughts. Keep ’em coming. I’ve got a feeling he’s got a bumpy road ahead of him.

Jun 222006

So I went to the doctor today for a semi-annual checkup and to talk to him about the stomach blahs I had earlier this week. On a general note, most of what went between us was the same old, same old. Smoking is bad, Doxycycline (for my Roseacea) can make your acid reflux worse. Do you exercise? Blah, blah, blah. I have to get some blood work done and he wants to shove a tube down my throat again some time soon to see how my esophagus is doing (preventative measure to keep me from dying the way my Father did).

I get my receipt afterward, and at the very top is a list of things I am diagnosed with.

One of them is “Obesity, Unspecified.”

You know…

Battling with my weight has been a long and grueling process. I’ve had my failures and my successes, and I’m currently in the “win” column. I do my best every day to try and stay on program, to get my exercise in when I’m supposed to, all that fun stuff.

And yet, despite the fact that I’ve lost 141.2 pounds, I’m still considered “obese.”

I still have to lose nearly 100 pounds to be considered “healthy.”


It’s disheartening, really. Between that, and the times when my Roseacea acts up and I get huge white pustules on my face, I really feel disfigured sometimes. Yes, I realize I’m far from that compared to some folks, but this is my personal perception here. I see pictures of myself, or I look in the mirror, and I hate it.

Blah, blah bitchycakes.

Jun 202006

Getting something like this in your mail box :

We were making references all day and incorporating it into our jobs.zayna

From things like that, to people seeing me and saying “Oh Boy,” and everything in between – It’s knowing that you left a memorable impression on your audience that makes this whole art thing worthwhile.

(and on a health note – feeling somewhat better, and logged in to work…not 100% by a long shot, but not doubled over either)