Tag Archives: comics

Magic Reset Buttons

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Some of you may recall I was pretty pissed off about the fact that Spider-Man was going to unmask himself in the “Civil War” storyline. 

Well, gee…what a shocker.  Despite their claims to the contrary, this was never intended to be a permanent situation. 

You might think I’m happy about this.

I’m not.

Why?  Because while the initial decision to do so was a monumental mistake and took the character in a direction that I thought was wrong, up to and including giving him all kinds of additional powers (organic web shooters being one of them), yet again it was all just a set up for them to press the magic reset button.  Instead of showing some kind of commitment and making the change permanent, it was all just a gimmick to drive sales.

Spidey and Mary Jane make a deal with the devil, and everything reverts back to the way it was 20 years ago.  No more crazy new powers.  No more Spidey and Mary Jane.  His identity is secret and he’s yet again struggling to balance his life as a superhero with paying the bills and taking care of his poor, sick Aunt May.

Sigh.

Here’s a thought, dickwads.  Don’t fuck with the characters in the first place!  Then you wouldn’t have to write these bullshit storylines to make up for the fact that you wrote stupid bullshit to begin with.

I understand Captain America (the original Steve Rogers) is coming back as well.

Whee.

Good times….

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Nothing say “Today is gonna be AWESOME” like waking up to find dried cat puke on your office chair first thing in the morning. No idea how long it actually sat there, but it was old enough that I had to get out the 409 and scrub to get it all off.

Bill is still improving. I didn’t hear anything from Jody about him yesterday, but Alex talked to her and she gave him the whole lowdown. She told him about how it was related to his diabetes and why it was so important that he take care of himself in that regard. I can only assume that means he’s doing well enough that she’s not afraid Alex is going to freak out over him dying and it being diabetes related. Speaking of diabetes, Canadian scientists have cured it in mice. Like, overnight even.

In the “WTF??” department, Scott Kurtz of PVP online started a storyline today that smacks a bit too much like Ctrl+Alt+Del‘s Winter-Een-Mas. Right down to wearing a controller as decoration. I’m hoping this is some kind of self-referential dig, especially considering that the characters in PVP tend to break the fourth wall often in that regard. If not…I dunno. I guess I’ll just be really disappointed. Kurtz gets a lot of shit from the internet community, but he’s always seemed like he was a genuinely good guy to me. I’d hate to think he was starting to show some of the “big man in comics” arrogance his detractors accuse him of, and ripping off ideas from other comics would definitely fall into that category.

Yesterday was a big ball of suck at work, but in retrospect it was surprisingly entertaining. Frustrating as hell, sure, but it made the first half of the day fly by. Got off a little early so I could swing by Omaha Steaks and cash in the $100 gift certificate my Mom gave us for Christmas. Picked up a pretty standard package that included some steaks, burgers, hot dogs, pork chops, chicken breasts, and potatoes au gratin, then added on a bag of Tortilla Crusted Tilapia. We got one of those the last time Mom gave us a gift certificate, and they were damned tasty. All in all, pretty good stuff from that place, but considering the distance I have to go to get there and the fact that it’s “gourmet” prices it’s not some place I’d start shopping regularly.

But $100 of free meats is $100 of free meats, ya know?

Locally, it’s time once again for me to put on my shilling hat. Jobsite is getting ready to open All The Great Books (Abridged). Yep, the “Bad Boys” of abridgment are back again, having tackled Shakespeare, The Bible, and American History they are now moving on to books. Amazingly enough, this might actually mean they’ve taken some time to read one or two. Who’d have thought it, huh? They must have found some way to completely eliminate sleep from their lives. In any case, I have yet to leave an “Abridged” without being completely sore from laughing so hard, and I’m looking forward to seeing what they come up with for this one. These guys give a whole new twist to the Abridged plays, making each one their own. Even if you’ve seen this play before, the Jobsite crew promises to give you a truly unique (and, most certainly, a much funnier) experience.

Get yer asses out there and buy tickets before the monkeys start flinging poo, damnit!

Grrr…

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It’s a Marvel : Spidey Unmasks – L.A. Times (Registration Required)

You know, I’ve ranted here about the changes they have made to the Spider-Man mythos before, but this? This takes the fucking cake. Yes, this is even worse than killing him and brining him back from the dead with new powers and giving him an Iron-Spider costume. This is worse than the clone saga.

This…this is just crap.

One of the key elements of the Spider-Man character is the fact that he is, first and foremost, Peter Parker. He puts on a costume and becomes Spider-Man, but it is not who he is. Bruce Wayne? That’s a mask. Clark Kent? Mask. Logan? Mask. Most heroes have a secret identity so they can go out among the world as normal everyday joes, but most of their lives are defined by the fact that they ARE a hero. Peter Parker? He IS a normal, everyday Joe. He’s got a job and a family. He has to sew his own costumes. He has to pay the rent and get to his classes on time. Spider-Man is, more often than not, an obligation to him – and one that causes him no small amount of distress as he attempts to juggle these things.

There have bee numerous occasions where he could have used his powers to make his life easier. He was offered a permanent position with the Avengers, along with a fat paycheck, but he turned it down. Why? Because he would have been required to reveal his secret identity. When the Fantastic Four helped him get rid of the alien symbiote, he went through great efforts to hide his face from them and went home wearing a PAPER BAG on his head (and a “Kick Me” sign on his back, courtesy of Johnny Storm).

I agree with Mr. Quesada when he says that there are many story possibilities in this move, and I’ll even concede that some of them will be good ones. There will be the “revenge” storylines (but many of them will be less effective because not only does Aunt May know who he is, she lives in the Fantastic Four building with him and his wife, Mary Jane). It will be interesting to see how people like J. Jonah Jameson, Harry Osborone, Robbie Robertson, and Betty Leeds respond. Once those plot lines are resolved, though, what do we have left? Another Super-Hero. No longer will there be the back story of Spidey trying to juggle his secret identity with his role as Spider-Man. He’ll live in his Fortress of Spidertude and venture out to battle evil wherever it strikes.

Great, just great.

Spider-Man comics have always been the story of a man trying to cope with the responsibility of having great power. This move, I fear, will remove that crucial part of the character and make him just another guy in tights.

And that’s a damned shame.