May 102013

13043_180464084665_5355595_nIf I was put on the spot and forced to choose, I would have to say that the picture here on the right is my favorite of all the pictures that have been taken of me in the last few years.


My mother took it a few years ago when we were spending a family weekend out at the Tradewinds resort on St. Petersburg Beach. It was one of those “snapped it at just the right time” pictures, as I looked up right as Mom took it. I’m comfortable, relaxed, not posing, and…thin.

Well, about as close to thin as I’ll likely ever be.

I don’t like the pictures that are being taken of me these days. I don’t like them because they are evidence of how far I’ve slid since that picture was taken. They are reminders of the fact that I’ve stopped running, hell that I hardly ever get off my ass to exercise these days. They are evidence that I’ve stopped paying close attention to what I eat, and I’ve gone back to my habit of twos (always ordering two of something, always have seconds, etc…). I don’t like them because they show, indisputably, the 60 pounds or so I’ve put on since it was taken.

I’ve talked at length about all the excuses I have for the weight I put on, my health “problems” being the primary culprit. I put “problems” in quotes because, really, the things that I’ve dealt with have been more annoying than anything else. I haven’t been incapacitated, just…inconvenienced.

I kept things up pretty well through the run of Biloxi Blues last year, but after that I went downhill pretty quickly. I could, of course, pull out other excuses for that. Oh, I dunno…like “major life changing events” maybe? This last year has been a roller coaster of extreme highs and extreme lows in my personal life. Some of that is still going on now, and there are still nights when bad food and alcohol are the only things that seem to bring any comfort. I started smoking again around February of last year as well. Because, you know, if you’re eating like shit, not exercising, and drinking too much? Ya might as well throw cigarettes back on the table while you’re at it, right?

I’ve managed to put the cigarettes back down again by replacing them with an e-cigarette, but beyond that? I’m still pretty much looking at starting over from scratch as far as my diet and exercise are concerned. No, I still haven’t put back on ALL the weight I lost after my strokes back in 2000 (I’m still 109 pounds less than I was back then), but I’ve put enough weight back on that I’m noticing it. A lot. Physically and mentally. I’m not moving around as well, and I’ve got aches and pains I haven’t had in years. Most of my clothes fit poorly, and the ones that fit properly have sizes on the tags that make me cringe.

Oh, and I hate having my picture taken.

So I suppose this is yet another in a long line of “I’m really trying to do something about this” posts. I’ve re-upped my membership at LA Fitness and sometime within in the next few weeks I’d really like to start training to run again. I’m especially motivated to do so because there’s a show coming up next year that I’d really like a shot at being in, but it’s another military role. In my current shape? Not thinking it would be very likely I get cast.

I guess…I dunno? Wish me luck?

A less than stellar ending to this post, I admit.

Aug 032001

Last night at Weight Watchers I got on the scale and was told that I lost 3.2 pounds last week. This makes my grand total, since January 12th of this year, 101.4.

One hundred and one point four pounds. I think I like spelling it out better than just typing the numbers. It looks more impressive that way. One hundred and one point four pounds.

I have lost more weight than some people can lift. I have lost the entire body mass of a small child. I have dropped at least 5 sizes in my pants (10 inches in the waist). It’s no small feat, and I feel VERY justified in taking a moment to brag about it.

Every four weeks I take my measurements and go through my closet to see what does and doesn’t fit anymore. Coincidentally last night was also one of those four week marks. So I tried on the XL Jello Biafra shirt that I have hanging up on my wall. I’m not quite there yet. I can wear it. No doubt about it. It’s still a little tight, though. It still hugs the belly a bit much. So it goes back on the hanger for another four weeks. I tried on a jacket that I used to wear in high school. It fit. A little snugly, but it fit. Last night, I finally got rid of all my 4x shirts. I can’t wear them anymore! They have gotten to the point where they look silly on me. My closet is a little more barren now, but that is perfectly ok with me.

I still have a long way to go, but it suddenly seems a lot closer than it did just a week ago. I’m over half way there. In fact, when I tell people how much more I want to lose I keep getting shocked responses. I find it flattering that people can’t believe I still consider myself 92.8 pounds overweight. Who knows? Maybe they are right. Maybe I’ll get down around the 250 mark and decide that’s where I need to be. I’m a big man. That might be an ideal weight for me. For now, though, I’m sticking to the 225 mark. I think it’s a good goal.

In other news…I was glancing over at Web Pages That Suck the other day, and I stumbled across a rather disturbing thing. Apparently, the flaming logo and background that I have on this page is something seen quite frequently across the web, and it is considered a “sucky” web design. So I’m going back to the old drawing board on this page, and I should be rolling something new out soon. I think I’m going to re-engineer my whole site, actually. Keep the home page the same (maybe update the graphics with some mouse overs or something), but make the look and feel of the rest of the site more consistent. So expect some changes in the direction soon.

I noticed something else recently, too. My site is actually getting some consistent traffic. It’s not a lot, but I’m getting about somewhere between 5 and 10 hits per day on average. I’m starting to think about promoting the forums again. We’ll see.

Well kids, that’s about it for now. Thanks for all the continued support on the weight loss battle. I’ll keep you posted!

Jan 212001

Well gang, I’m pretty sure my days as a Net-J are over. It was nice while it lasted, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to keep producing the show. I am pretty stretched for time as it is, and it takes a bit of work for me to get one of the shows together. Top that with the fact that I have no guarantee that my show will go up on time or at all, and you’ll see why I came to my conclusion. I can’t say for sure yet. I need to talk to the woman who convinced me to start the show in the first place and give her a chance to change my mind if she wants, but it looks like Uncle Critus’ Farm is going to be foreclosed on by the gub-mint.

Hey, it was fun while it lasted. Of course, you might now that if you actually LISTENED to it (you know who you are).

In other news, I have decided to archive my older rants onto a separate page and order them chronologically. You’ll find a list below of all the archived articles with hyperlinks to them.

For those of you interested in my health, I started Weight Watchers two days ago. Yay for me! I figured it was high time I went and did something about all the excess Critus that is floating around, and Weight Watchers seemed like the logical way to go. I’ve lost weight before, hell I’ve lost a LOT of weight before, but I did it with fad diets that made me gain it all back as soon as I stopped following them. Not good. I need to lose it for real this time, and I think I’m going to do it. Besides, following my pattern of healthy behavior it’s time I think. Last time I lost weight, I quit smoking first (done), then I got caught up with my dentist (also done), and I was single (unfortunately, that’s the case too). So following that pattern, the next logical step is weight loss. Simple, isn’t it?

I’ve got some other good news pending, but as of this point I’m holding off on announcing it. Don’t want to jinx anything.

Oh, and for those of you who were asking about the “big thing” in my January 11th rant. First of all, it wasn’t anything bad or another major illness or anything, contrary to what some of you thought. I simply thought perhaps something might come about that might turn out to be very cool. It didn’t, and I’m pretty sure at this point it won’t, but it’s all good.

Well anyway, time for me to mosey on buckaroos. Thanks, as always, for tuning in. One final thing, though. If you haven’t yet, take a moment to go to my Delphi forum and post some comments there. It’s been dead for months, and that’s partly my fault, but there really aren’t a lot of people going there to check it out. So log on over and write some of your own profoundness, ok???