It is almost 6:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I should be sleeping. I wanted to be sleeping. Instead, I had a nightmare that got me out of bed about 30 minutes ago. One of those nightmares you don’t even want to tell the details of because they are horrible and embarrassing. I’m awake now, and sitting here doing that I’m almost always doing at this time on a weekday. Drinking coffee, eating my breakfast of two frozen waffles with peanut butter in between them, and drinking coffee.
If I didn’t have an insanely long (and mostly self-imposed) to-do list for the weekend I’d be even more upset about that.
I’ve already realized that one of the things that I wanted to knock out this weekend simply isn’t going to happen. Well, it’s not going to get finished anyway. I’ll work on it, but there is no way the task can be done in the amount of time that I have. See, I got this crazy idea to go back through all the old blog posts that are here from when I imported my live journal and add categories and tags. I also wanted to remove the password protection on the ones that don’t need to be password protected and delete all the genuine “fluff” that exists there.
When I initially looked at the number of posts that needed to be sorted through it didn’t seem so daunting. After spending a few hours on it last night, though, it’s something that is likely to take me weeks. Maybe months.
What’s been truly interesting about it is going through and finding all of the posts I made when major things were going on in my life. The first post I made after joining Weight Watchers, for example. The post I made about being cast in Maxwell. The post I made after 9/11.
2001 was a crazy year for me, in a lot of ways.
This is one of the reasons why I have made the effort to keep my posts around, despite the fact that in a lot of cases they don’t present me in what could necessarily be seen as my best side. It’s fascinating to me to take a step back in time and crawl back into my brain. To see what made the person I was tick back then. Hell, simply to remember some of the good times.
Another thing I note with no small amount of shame is that I do not simply write for the sake of writing nearly as often as I used to. Insert standard promises of wanting to get back to that here. I’ve made my promises to that end before, and my blog still languishes for months on end.
There are other blogs that are languishing that need to be dealt with as well. That’s on my list for the weekend, too.
There are some things going on that I really want to write about but that I simply cannot. Things I consider going back to my Live Journal for, or perhaps even starting up another WordPress blog under a new name that I do not associate with me. I don’t know. There are times when I need to vent off all of the bad energy I take in when trying to be supportive for others, but if I do that here I’ll potentially undo everything I’ve tried to help them with.
So it bottles up…
But, honestly, I really should be documenting some of it. For the same reasons I listed above. So that I can look back on this time and remember. Not necessarily because the memories will be good, but because what is happening right now is important.
Eh…that’s enough on that. I can’t say any more without revealing things I shouldn’t, so I’ll shut my trap.
Awesome…I talk about Live Journal and I make a vague post alluding to things I refuse to talk about. Sweet candy!
There’s more I could write, but I really should get moving on some of the things on my to-do list now that I’m awake.
See you all when you wake up.