Earlier this morning I ran an application on Facebook known as UnFriender. As the name should obviously imply, the application compares your current Friends list to previous snapshots and lets you know who has dropped you from their list since you last checked.
I do this because I am a horrible combination of narcissism and insecurity. I want everyone to like me, and when someone doesn’t I get all angst-ridden trying to figure out why. I blame my lifelong struggle with obesity. I’m sure I could explain that, but it’s easier to just say “It’s because I was fat as a teenager and nobody loved me” and leave it at that.
I think if I’m ever convicted of murder I’ll probably use that as an excuse as well.
So my latest scan turned up what, at first, seemed like kind of a shocker. A guy I’ve known since I was a teenager dropped me. We were never super close or anything, but I always thought he was a pretty nice guy. He’s also struggled with his weight his whole life, so I kinda thought we had a bond there. Anyway, I wouldn’t have called him a “good friend” but he was definitely up there in the hierarchy of “close acquaintances.”
I say that it “seemed” like kind of a shocker because, when I thought about it, I realized two things happened recently that might have gotten me the boot. The first was about a month ago, as I recall. He was going out of town for a few days and made multiple posts to Facebook looking for someone to take care of his dogs while he was gone. Apparently, nobody stepped up and he got disgusted with his “friends” not being there for him in his time of need. This may be, however, because of what led to event number two. You see, this guy has been out of work for a while and is constantly talking about how broke he is on Facebook.
He’s also constantly talking about going out to bars and going out to eat at restaurants for dinner.
This kinda thing annoys the hell out of me, and I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one. I can’t speak for the other folks who did not reply to his Facebook requests, but for me personally the charity well dries up when shit like this happens. I will give you the shirt off my back if you’re my friend and you’re in need, but if you can afford to go out to eat when my family and I pass on those opportunities in favor of paying our bills? No, sorry. Not happening. You’ll never convince me that dining out in a restaurant is more economical than eating at home. If you’re broke enough that you have to choose between the two, I can guarantee you that you’ll get more meals out of that 6 bucks at Save-A-Lot than you will spending at an all-you-can-eat pizza joint.
Mind you, I never went out of my way to point this out to him. In fact, I completely avoided the subject up until about two weeks ago. He had two Facebook posts within a few hours of each other. One of them talking about how he had like 12 bucks to his name, and the other (a few hours later) about how he was heading out to some bar where they had buckets of beer for like $3.50 if you sang a karaoke song. On the latter post I half-jokingly replied that I thought he had 12 bucks to his name, and wondered if that was before or after he had gone to the bar. He replied that his total tab was only $3.95.
I bit back the comments about that being nearly 1/3 of his entire financial cushion at the time. In fact, I pretty much let it die there.
Apparently, though, he dropped me anyway.
Frankly, I’m not upset about this at all. I suppose my insecurity is waning the older I get. It just got me to thinking about this kind of thing, and about the fact that as I age my tolerance level for bullshit is getting significantly smaller. I don’t see myself ever getting to a point where I find I have to regularly call out bullshit when I see it, but my willingness to deal with it and have it be part of my daily existence is almost nil. I hope my (former?) acquaintance finds a job, happiness, and financial security. In the final analysis, though, it’s probably best that we went our “separate” ways on Facebook.
Just some thoughts as I take a break from my busy day. Have a good one, gang.