Apr 032010

Earlier this morning I ran an application on Facebook known as UnFriender. As the name should obviously imply, the application compares your current Friends list to previous snapshots and lets you know who has dropped you from their list since you last checked.

I do this because I am a horrible combination of narcissism and insecurity. I want everyone to like me, and when someone doesn’t I get all angst-ridden trying to figure out why. I blame my lifelong struggle with obesity. I’m sure I could explain that, but it’s easier to just say “It’s because I was fat as a teenager and nobody loved me” and leave it at that.

I think if I’m ever convicted of murder I’ll probably use that as an excuse as well.

So my latest scan turned up what, at first, seemed like kind of a shocker. A guy I’ve known since I was a teenager dropped me. We were never super close or anything, but I always thought he was a pretty nice guy. He’s also struggled with his weight his whole life, so I kinda thought we had a bond there. Anyway, I wouldn’t have called him a “good friend” but he was definitely up there in the hierarchy of “close acquaintances.”

I say that it “seemed” like kind of a shocker because, when I thought about it, I realized two things happened recently that might have gotten me the boot. The first was about a month ago, as I recall. He was going out of town for a few days and made multiple posts to Facebook looking for someone to take care of his dogs while he was gone. Apparently, nobody stepped up and he got disgusted with his “friends” not being there for him in his time of need. This may be, however, because of what led to event number two. You see, this guy has been out of work for a while and is constantly talking about how broke he is on Facebook.

He’s also constantly talking about going out to bars and going out to eat at restaurants for dinner.

This kinda thing annoys the hell out of me, and I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one. I can’t speak for the other folks who did not reply to his Facebook requests, but for me personally the charity well dries up when shit like this happens. I will give you the shirt off my back if you’re my friend and you’re in need, but if you can afford to go out to eat when my family and I pass on those opportunities in favor of paying our bills? No, sorry. Not happening. You’ll never convince me that dining out in a restaurant is more economical than eating at home. If you’re broke enough that you have to choose between the two, I can guarantee you that you’ll get more meals out of that 6 bucks at Save-A-Lot than you will spending at an all-you-can-eat pizza joint.

Mind you, I never went out of my way to point this out to him. In fact, I completely avoided the subject up until about two weeks ago. He had two Facebook posts within a few hours of each other. One of them talking about how he had like 12 bucks to his name, and the other (a few hours later) about how he was heading out to some bar where they had buckets of beer for like $3.50 if you sang a karaoke song. On the latter post I half-jokingly replied that I thought he had 12 bucks to his name, and wondered if that was before or after he had gone to the bar. He replied that his total tab was only $3.95.

I bit back the comments about that being nearly 1/3 of his entire financial cushion at the time. In fact, I pretty much let it die there.

Apparently, though, he dropped me anyway.

Frankly, I’m not upset about this at all. I suppose my insecurity is waning the older I get. It just got me to thinking about this kind of thing, and about the fact that as I age my tolerance level for bullshit is getting significantly smaller. I don’t see myself ever getting to a point where I find I have to regularly call out bullshit when I see it, but my willingness to deal with it and have it be part of my daily existence is almost nil. I hope my (former?) acquaintance finds a job, happiness, and financial security. In the final analysis, though, it’s probably best that we went our “separate” ways on Facebook.

Just some thoughts as I take a break from my busy day. Have a good one, gang.

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  5 Responses to “Being broke”

  1. Stuff like this is partially why I find myself using facebook, twitter, etc. less and less. It’s not that I don’t have things to contribute, but to be a good netzien, you have to read as much as you write.

    Frankly, I’ve read some stuff lately across the board (and not singling facebook out) that is just… sad.

    Anyway, yeah, GET OFFAH MAH LAWN, etc. etc. curmudgeon, curmudgeon, grumble, grumble, etc.

  2. hahahah, you know, probably some people think the same way about me, but I don’t care because I am uber-cheap, and know the Secret Way of the Getting Free Shit Ninja… I hardly ever spend my OWN money on frivolous things…and at least my bills are paid, and I have more than $12. Win for me, lose for that guy. And I have boobs. Double win.

    In other words, that shit would piss me off too.

    S. & I had an acquaintance who bitched and moaned about being unemployed and broke – yet drove a Prius, had an iPhone, and took a cross country trip on their unemployment money… SO ANNOYING.

    • Sheeit, you have THREE jobs, Christen. If anyone can justify going out when broke it’s you! 🙂

  3. I don’t run programs to tell me that stuff. I figure that some people don’t believe or feel or vote the way I do, and they don’t want to deal with people who are different and vocal about it. I understand that. My cousin hates a lot of things I love and is very vocal about it. If we weren’t blood related, I would unfriend her.

    About the jobless friend, you know, I have friends from high school who are that guy. They aren’t unemployed as much as I would consider them non-workers. However, they have every video game they want, they see every movie as soon as it comes out, and the latest computer stuff. They complain about how bad the economy is and how they can’t find a job. What about the last 10 years, dude? I haven’t deleted these folks, because I’d get a new friend request, and email, and a phone call about it (because let’s face it, they have the freaking time.)

  4. Haha Krys, I totally hear you on that one. It was totally brought to my fore when somebody told me “don’t you know? it’s all over my twitter!” Baby.. sorry to say, but I can’t be arsed to read everybody’s twitter all the time anymore. It’s not that I wouldn’t have the time, mind. I just can’t be arsed, period.

    Hear you about the money issues. If I have 12 bucks left to my name, I tend to spend it on a bunch of cheap food at Lidl and a pouch of rolling tobacco. That will last me about a week.

    However, knowing myself and knowing I earn/eat like a snake, I believe in getting all nigger rich when I have money, but spending it on stuff that I know is going to do me good once the money runs out. Being broke with a shitty computer is a lot worse than being broke with a new computer.

    Courtney, I’m not sure if I am one of these people you talk about. Maybe I am and I am not. In my younger years I worked my guts out 60-70 hours a week, and I did that until one day I said hey, what for? I don’t need all that money, and what good is it if I never have time to enjoy it? So these days, I tend to work for a few months, and then slack off for at least a month afterwards. Some people would say, sleeping till noon and playing video games all night is slacking. To me its quality of life – actually doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. Total freedom. Maybe I’ll go out today, maybe I won’t.. get what I’m saying?

    The rat race is overrated. Even if you win, you’re still a rat.

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