Ahh! Head explodey!

So I’m supposed to be off book for Gorey Stories on Saturday.  I knew this, somewhere in the back of my mind, but the reality of it didn’t set in with me until our stage manager said something about it last night at the end of rehearsal.

Begin panic mode…

See, here’s the thing…When I do a show I learn my lines largely by repetition.  I can sit down and memorize a script if I have to, but I get a much more solid grasp of the script if I hear both my part and the parts of my fellow actors in my head over and over again.  Due to the nature of this show, much of our rehearsal time has been eaten by musical rehearsals and there are some sections we simply have run that often yet.  As such, I can’t “hear” them in my head…and it’s making things REALLY difficult for me.  I just went over my script a few times during lunch, and it almost feels like some parts of the show are completely foreign to me.

Meh.  It will come.  I just hope I don’t spend 90% of my stage time calling for lines on Saturday.

In other show news, I have what is probably the most challenging song I’ve ever had to perform in this one.  It’s pretty high in my range, and I’m having a really difficult time getting enough air in my lungs to hit those notes (there just isn’t much room in it for breathing).  When I do?  Sounds great?  When I don’t?  Sounds like I’m dying (at least to me).  Talked with our (most excellent) music director about getting a rehearsal track for that one, and she’s going to be spending more time with those of us who have solos in the next few rehearsals.

Wednesday and Thursday have become my hell days.  I have to be in the office, so I end up going straight to the theater after work.  If we get out of rehearsal on time I get home a little after 10:30 PM.  Wednesday is supposed to be one of my workout days, but last night I didn’t have a full hour in me.  I’m proud of the fact that I managed to knock out 30 minutes, but the primary motivation behind that was the fact that I figured out my POINTS for the day and I was 2 over (with no Flex POINTS left to spend).  I’m really, really trying to keep the show from derailing my workout routine.  The last time I didn’t get back into the groove until months and months later.  With as good as I’ve been doing recently on that front that’s just not acceptable.  It’s bad enough that I’ve basically started smoking again.  Note to self : Taking a weekend “off” to smoke while on vacation is a bad idea, especially when you’re coming back to a very stressful work environment and a show.   I’m not back to a pack a day habit, but I can already feel that heaviness returning to my chest when I wake up in the morning (probably contributing to my breath issues in Gorey Stories as well).

Alex is still having emotional issues at school, and he’s been very clingy in my off time as a result.  He’s constantly talking about getting in “Us time” or having a “Father/Son Day,” which is a wonderful thing but I have very little time for me and to get the things done that I need to get done.  Things like my laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, general house cleaning/maintenance.  Then there’s that whole “memorizing lines” thing.  Not that I want to sound like I’m bitching about my son wanting to spend time with me – I’m not.  This recent level of wanting me to take him places and do things with him is unprecedented, though, and came at a really bad time.  Some day, I know, I’ll be wishing he called more often and that he had time to spend with me.  The Cat is in the Cradle and all that Jazz.  I get it.  There are only so many hours in the day, though. 

Sigh.

All in all, though, I think the show is coming together really well.  I’m really looking forward to the end product on this one.  It’s just going to be an exhausting process to get there.  I REALLY can’t wait until I get some pictures taken in full makeup and costume.  If I come out looking half as cool as the others did in our promo shots I’m going to have some new user icons. 

This whole post came off a lot more bitchy and emo than I intended, really.  I’m just wiped out today.  Part of my agenda for the afternoon is plotting out the rest of my vacation time this year.  I’ve got 2 more personal days coming to me, an I have almost 50 hours of vacation piled up.  Can you say “lots of three day weekends”?  I knew ya could.

Kudos!

A big round of congratulations out to the board of directors of The Jobsite Theater, the company I am proud to call myself an ensemble member of (as infrequently as I may appear). They have been named the Best Theater Company in Tampa by Creative Loafing two years running now!

Other awards that went out to Jobsite members this time around include Best Actor (Steve Garland), Best Actress (Ami Corley) and Best Costume Designer (Katrina Stevenson).

Nice going, gang!

(Not a season ticket holder yet?  What are you waiting for??  Get your season tickets here!)

Don't taze me because I'm beautiful.

I’m well aware that there are times when I don’t sound like the liberal I claim to be.  Maybe it’s because I listen to a lot of Conservative talk radio (not that I have much choice here in Tampa).  Who knows?  I like to think it’s because I try to evaluate every situation for what it is and not simply write everything as being “bad” if it doesn’t necessarily mesh with what I believe in.

And one would think that a college student (yay education) grilling a politician (boo!) to find out whether or not there’s really any difference between him and his supposed opponents (there isn’t) would be a person I could get behind, right? 

Yeah, wrong.

Near as I can tell, Andrew Meyer is yet another in a long line of rude people who likes to make others uncomfortable who went too far and pretty much got what he deserved.  Good luck getting to his web site, because despite the fact that Mr. Meyer spent the evening in jail his personal web site was constantly being updated with links to news sites and updates. 

Mr. Meyer is the kind of person who, reportedly, made a video of himself wearing a home made sign that said “Harry Dies” after the release of the latest Harry Potter book.  I can’t confirm this, because the article that says he did references a video I cannot find on his web site.  Perhaps it was deleted because it showed him in a less than ideal light?  Mr. Meyer would love that kind of conspiracy theory.

And what about that first video that made it out on the web?  Amazingly enough it seemed to have a few choice edits, leaving out the part where someone asks him to get to the point and ask his question and replies with “I’ll ask my question.  I even have two more.  He’s spoken for 2 hours now and it’s my turn” (or something to that effect…I have not been able to find a transcript online). 

So let’s review a few things here…

According to several accounts he barged to the front of the line and cut in front of another student to ask his question.

He was asked by someone (I’m assuming one of the moderators, but it might have been a cop) to get to the point and ask his question.  He refuses to do so and continues on his rant.

His microphone is cut off and he begins shouting.

The police begin to escort him out and he continues yelling, wanting to know what he did wrong.

Here’s a big one, gang…

He pulls free of the cops, begins flailing his arms about, and yells “Get your hands off of me!”

Big.  Big.  Mistake.

Look, here’s the bottom line – You don’t resist the cops.  You don’t argue with cops.  You definitely don’t try to run from cops.  Why?  Because they have GUNS.  Because they have the ability to put you in jail.  Because, and this is especially important if you really do believe that we live in a police state, if you’re arrested and charged with a crime “innocent until proven guilty” is really kind of lip service. 

I used to work in an Exxon station where I got to know a lot of cops.  Part of getting to know them let me in on the “darker” sides of police work.  I’m not talking about the fact that they risk their lives by doing their jobs.  I’m talking about the fact that if they want to charge you with a crime they will find one, and there really isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.  Need a reason to pull you over?  A quick flick of the nightstick guarantees that there was a turn signal out. 

Is it pretty?  No.  But it’s true.  I learned things about men, good men, who were genuinely committed to doing the right thing that gave me a whole new level of fear (and respect) for the law.  If these men would bend the rules, what would a BAD cop do? 

In any case, I really see this Meyer guy as a product of the Jackass generation.  The loud, in your face, say things to make you squirm gang.  I believe he went in there fully intending on making Senator Kerry look bad, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if his level of resistance was part of that. 

The ONLY thing I can say about this encounter that I think was over the line was the tazering itself.  I’m not sure that with six cops and one skinny college kid there was really a need to go to that length, but hey…I wasn’t there.  I wasn’t the cop who was worried that maybe this guy was going to hurt someone, or himself.  Hell, they might have thought he was going to try to hurt Senator Kerry.  Don’t know.  Can’t put myself in those shoes.

So yeah, here’s me not being a “liberal” and agreeing that this is a sign that Free Speech is under assault in our country.  Andrew Meyer was way, way out of line.  Did he get what he deserved?  I don’t know if I can say for sure on that, but I do believe that this wasn’t an “innocent student” who was being silenced for having controversial views.  This was a guy acting like a jackass who continued to do so when the situation Got Serious, and what happened after that was a direct result.  The truly sad thing is that as a journalism major he’s likely to turn this into a profit of some kind. 

I guarantee you his 15 minutes aren’t done just yet.

Edited to add some additional information

Meyer’s microphone was, indeed, cut off by the moderators of the forum and NOT the police.  “Members of Accent, Student Government’s speakers bureau, cut off the microphone because Meyer used profanity, said Steven Blank, Accent chairman. Accent sponsored the forum, which was held at the University Auditorium.”

http://www.alligator.org/articles/2007/09/18/news/campus/arrest.txt

In this same article it states that students were going to protest to have all tazers removed from campus.   Because, you know, it’s much better to have your campus police use guns or batons to subdue non-violent resisters.

Kind of just opening this up and jotting stuff down as I go throughout my day.  I’ve had snippets of posts forming in my head recently, but have been busy and/or distracted and just haven’t had a chance to write them down.  Hopefully I’ll get some out as I knock out work today.

I’ve had another realization about blogging, or more specifically about Live Journal.  It’s one of the reasons why I so infrequently comment on other people’s posts these days.  Generally speaking, we don’t want real feedback out here.  We want to have people give us our *hugs* or sympathize with us, but when someone actually disagrees with us or maybe even points out where we could be culpable in whatever it is we’re complaining about we get all bent out of shape and start in with the “it’s my journal and I’ll write what I want” shit.  It’s just not worth it anymore, ya know?  Why take 20 minutes out of your day to write out a sincere and (attempting to be) helpful reply to someone if they’re just going to shut you down with “you’re wrong and you don’t understand.”  If everything you say is going to be completely invalidated if you say anything beyond “you’re right, that sucks” why bother?

I realize that not everyone feels this way, and I’ve seen people take criticism and/or advice in the spirit it was intended, but I’ve also been burned so many times that it’s generally just made me pull back from it in general.  It was different when I was the “go to” guy in places like the Bad Girl Swirl because I didn’t know the majority of those users in real life, but here I know most of you in one way or other, and having stress and/or tension in meatspace because I rained on someone’s parade just isn’t worth it.

Up until recently I’ve tried to live under the “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” rule.  These days?  I’m trending towards “Unless you ask me directly for my opinion I’m keeping my fucking mouth shut.”

Not surprisingly, I’ve seen a fairly steady drop in the number of folks on my friends list.  Not a dramatic one, but I seem to lose one or two every time I check it with my client.  Generally speaking not folks I’m really close with, but I can only assume my lack of regular posts and commenting makes me less of a draw.  Ah well.

Things have been relatively quiet at work recently.  Still busy, but nowhere near the frantic pace we were at before.  Although I still get kind of intimidated when I look at the Big List Of Projects we have up on the wall near my desk.  It’s a lot of a work, and almost everyone wants theirs done NOW.  Couple that with the fact that we’re moving over to a formal project management system and…I dunno.  It’s just a lot to deal with.

Going to a funeral tomorrow.  My friend Caroline Jett lost her husband unexpectedly last week.  I can’t even imagine.  I mean, it’s bad enough to lose someone after a long illness, but to not even have any kind of warning?  Ugh.  What a horrible thought.

Mother had some tests done yesterday to help find the cause of some headaches she’s been having.  No results until October unless they find something that has to be addressed immediately.  Here’s hoping all is quiet until October.

There’s a lack of anything truly exciting in this post.

I want Fall to be here already.  Well, the closest thing we get here in Florida anyway.  I want to sit outside and actually enjoy it.  Of course, now that we’ve quit smoking (mostly) I’ve lost my major motivation to sit outside, and doing so makes me want a cigarette.

Hooray, addiction!

Small (geeky) world

So one of the things I failed to do at Dragon*Con was find

 (former Jobsite sound guru Kevin Spooner).  I was told to look out for a Darth Vader or Batman costume by our mutual friend

.  I wasn’t aware that he had an Ultimate Captain America costume.

So when Krys and I stopped him to take his picture we didn’t realize it was him.

In all fairness, though..he didn’t recognize us, either.  And we weren’t in costume.  🙂