Jan 272006
 

Has been a pretty good day.

Traffic court went REALLY well. Because I had an attorney my case was heard first (I can only assume that, out of sympathy for the fact that attorneys charge by the hour, the courts give you priority), and I was in front of the judge for all of 5 minutes. He asked if we wanted to change my plea, which we did. We pled “No Contest” and asked for Advanced Drivers Instruction. The judge turned to the trooper and asked if that was alright with him, and it was. He then asked to see my insurance card (my other ticket was for no proof of insurance). That being in order, he signed the paperwork and sent me on my way.

Yay!

Now I just have to take a 12 hour driving class.

Boo.

Got to work by about 10, shortly before my co-worker left for the day because of back pain. Boss offered to take me to lunch, and I asked if we could go to Applebee’s so that I could get a Weight Watchers friendly meal. Got the Onion Soup (which still rocks), the Mequite Chicken Salad (good, but a bit dry due to the amount of dressing you get), and the Raspberry Cheesecake (which was incredible). All told, 13 Weight Watchers points for lunch. Considering that I only had a Banana for breakfast, this was quite acceptable. I DID have a few samples at Costco afterwards (the boss wanted to stop by), but I counted a full point for every sample I had. Still have 9 points for the day, and I plan on going for a walk when I get home to get another 3.

Took and posted my “honesty” pictures last night. Sobering, that. I think I was most disturbed by the back pictures. K. insists that the folds I see are loose skin that losing weight isn’t going to help, but to me it just looked like huge rolls of fat. I’m proud of how good I’ve been this week, and I love how there seems to be a big circle of us that are really refocusing and getting inspiration from each other, but it’s still depressing to see that.

I’ve had this…I dunno…dream I guess…Of one day having nudes or semi-nudes taken of me that wouldn’t be…well, gross. Not for any pornographic reasons. Just because I think artful nudes are really cool, and I’d love to be a subject of one, but I’ve never had the kind of body that could pull it off in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Seeing those last night made me realize how far away I am at the moment from having that become a reality.

And before it does, I’m going to have to have surgery to remove the excess skin.

So this is my current goal – To get to 225 pounds. When I do, I’m getting the surgery. I don’t care what I have to do to pay for it, but I’m doing it. When I do, I’ll undoubtedly lose more weight as there is a LOT of excess skin on my body. Once I’ve healed I’ll find out where my weight is and go from there.

But I have to get there first.

419.2/288.6/225

I can do this.

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