So the new motherboard arrived today. Put it in, being extra super careful this time to make sure I didn’t physically damage anything, and then hit the power switch.
That’s right. Goose egg.
So before calling anyone this time I decided to go do some research on my own. Turns out that my problem isn’t as uncommon as one might think. There seem to be two issues.
1) The configuration I have takes a shitload of power.
2) Turning the motherboard on with an insufficient power supply causes the BIOS to do some kind of freaky lock up thing.
I have purchased a 600 Watt power supply that has a 24 pin connector. I have taken everything out of my motherboard, as the forums suggested, and am letting it sit for a few hours. When I get home from rehearsal tonight I’m going to put in the processor, memory, and graphics cards and fire it up. If nothing happens at that point I’m going to turn it all over to etcet and see if he can get things working, because at this point it is taking everything in me not to be a raging asshole around the house.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go study my script for a while.
Edit This is the forum that I found with information that was relevant to my situation. It’s also where I made a post asking if there was possibly anything else I was missing.